6 years...time goes but I still feel the same.. I miss my friend

I really don't understand grief. I find myself playing video games or watching something that I would watch with my buddy Clint. I look around and notice it is just me in the room, my friend is not here. It is just me. 

It is my own fault for not wanting to move on I guess. I just know I can never replace what was. 

Over the years since my friend has been gone, I have tried to find things to replace the relationship I had. I am lucky to have a loving wife and kids who I share my time with and they are my love and life. However that man to man relationship the pusher, the confidant, the loyalty, the brotherhood, the calls, the drives, the double dates, the competition, the workouts, the jokes, the trips, etc.... I have come to realize you cannot replace the relationship. The memories are what helps but it still isn't the same as the person being here.  

Clint was a man of strength. I look back at some of the things he had told me. There is nothing greater than being with family and friends. You never know when someone will not be here anymore. I thought it was weird in the last year of my friends life, he would always tell family and friends he loved them. Now Clint, looking from the outside and never meeting him you would find him rough, hard, a mans man and maybe even arrogant. If you did not know him, you would think this but once you got to know him, you would find him to be the loving man he portrayed all the way to the end. Once that rough tuff man was put through the most excruciating pain and trial through his last year his true strength was shown in how he was on the inside. He was a good man. He had the most loyal heart. He loved his family and friends and always wanted them to be close to him. I can still remember him telling me how lucky he was to have a great family. Him saying I love you to family and friends now clicks. It is love that binds us. Love cannot be destroyed. I can be transferred and remains intact for generations to generations. 

Clint's niece London passed away this last Dec. A victim of another terrible disease, Juvenile Diabetes. She was too young to go. 

In my personal opinion, I believe Clint came to get her and lead her into a more glorious place. No suffering just a peaceful pass to the other side. I bet if he knew that this would happen to her, he would be one of the first to say I can lead her. As I attended her funeral I also saw it again... Love... it was all around and transcended to social media as well. Love is what binds us. 

Thanks for the memories and the love my friend..